4-peat (UK – 23, Louisville – less than 23)

I showed up late to watch the UK-Louisville game at my friend’s apartment.

(This by itself should immediately make you hate me for missing the season-opening kickoff. Believe me, I would hate myself for my own actions if I wasn’t, you know, an “objective journalist.”)

I was not the kind of late where you make up a story about how your front tire literally exploded as you were exiting the driveway to justify the tardiness. No, I was more of a Gandalf kind of late–wizards, of course, arrive “precisely when they mean to.” I was a wizard kind of late this time.

Bad move.

By the time I rolled through the door, everyone was on their feet, screaming and applauding. Naturally, I thought my arrival merited this sort of reaction and they were just waiting for me to show up so the party could start.

Turns out UK had already scored, in just two plays–a deep throw to La’Rod King and an explosive run by Derrick Locke. The Joker Phillips Era had got off to a boisterous start, despite the fact that he didn’t “hug the toilet” before the game. Denzel Washington would be disappointed, although if Phillips called the Locke run “Fake 23 Blast, with a backside George Reverse,” then it might even things back up.

At least I made it in time to witness the Rick Pitino jokes that spanned the entire commercial break. (Come on, you know you made them, too.)

From there, I was kicking back and enjoying the game, most notably Randall Cobb’s insane catch (probably the loudest the room got for anything, and considering the catch was on first down and gained about seven yards, that shows how ridiculous the one-handed lefty snag was), Randall Cobb’s 51-yard touchdown sweep (again, for all the times Randall has been adamant in wanting to be “just a wide receiver,” Joker Phillips has it right when he says that using the WildCobb HAS to be used It’s too good), and knowing that my very good friend* and my brother, both big Cardinals fans, scored tickets for the opener of Thick Crust Stadium and went from giddy to dejected in the span of a few hours.

*On a related note, my friend is now denying he roots for Louisville and instead is a big-time fan of the Jacksonville State Gamecocks, who beat Ole Miss in the upset of the week. By the way, who knew another school would be dumb enough to pick Gamecocks as their mascot, as Jacksonville State has done?

And so passed Sept. 4, the day an entire class of UK football players secured the right to say they never lost to Louisville. Mike Hartline did just what everybody expects him to, and what the team needs him to do, in completing an efficient 17-of-26 for 217 yards. Randall Cobb and Derrick Locke were the explosive playmakers everybody expects them to be. Linebacker Danny Trevathan was all over the field, and he will be counted on to continue that type of play. I’m not going to deeply analyze this game — if you want that, check out Kernel writer Nick Craddock’s game story and columnist Chandler Howard’s thoughts about Hartline. They were there; I was not.

But I was thirty seconds late to watch the game; they were not. And for that, they got to see, firsthand, the amazing start to the Joker Phillips Era.